I was diagnosed with MDD and BPD about a year ago. Recently, I've felt as if everything I do is for nothing. My mom's mental abusive, my dad is emotionally present but physically away and it feels like my life is gradually being ruined. I don't know what to do and when I tell my older sisters, they just say "You'll get better, you're 21, you have a whole life ahead of you" but as someone with depression, I don't see it that way. I worry that I don't make people happy, no one loves me and/or that people would be better off without me. Everything feels so soulless now, I do something and I start to just think and think. Why couldn't I have been a normal person and not have depression? Why am I being tortured with this mental illness? Did I do anything to deserve the abuse?? Did I ever do anything wrong? I don't even know anymore, but I just want it to end.