I HATE MYSELF. Every roll! Every love handle! Every relapse! Every cut! Every ‘are you okay?’! Every ‘it’s not that big of a deal’! Everything that made me happy or sad or any emotion now makes me want to kill myself! I’m not sad I’m desperate and depressed and lonely and no one understands why. I don’t even understand sometimes why I want to pull the trigger but I can’t bear it anymore! I want to leave the earth for no good reason except every reason! Fuck life fuck friends fuck family fuck me kill me