i feel stupid because i chose to pursue med school but i feel stuck with my studying because i just don't want to do it. and i know it's my own fault but it's the only thing i can imagine myself doing even though literally everyone in my life has told me that it's not worth doing. and the thing is i do believe it's worth doing but i feel like i have this timeline in my head and i literally can't imagine what i would do if it doesn't happen the way i want it to. maybe it's because i already pushed my original timeline to take a gap year but i don't know what i'd do and i think what scares me most is that i never even imagined actually getting this far in life. like i genuinely never imagined living to be this old and it's been scaring me. i'm just tired all the time and i have no motivation to do anything but i know that if i don't get it this time, i might have to give up on med school and i hate the idea of quitting so bad.