i have a girlfriend and we have been going out for a while now and she opens up to me a lot about her problems and i really like that she does but i cant do the same, i opened up to her once before and she wasnt judgmental or put me down in fact she helped me a bit, but the morning after i felt so shit i wanted to die and i self harmed again after i was doing so well and since then all i can think about is killing my self but ive had these feeling and thoughts before but this time its so much worse and im scare i might actually do it. Some times I find my self planning how im going to do it and i even bought a rope but i dont want to do it and its like i have no control over my body or mind and i really dont know what to do im so scared of what might happen