(NSFW, kinda?) Gahhh I’ve been reading these absolutely amazing fanfics about characters in a platonic kink relationship where one of the characters gives the other spankings as sort of a discipline kink thing and just…AUGH. I seem to have a spanking kink (to say the least) and these fics are so well-written but they’re making me wish I had someone I could trust like that to do that to me, I guess? But tbh I’m starting to let go of the idea that I’ll ever have a truly romantic or sexual relationship? Kinda? I just…don’t know how people get into relationships at all. I’m 19 and I’ve never dated anyone :/ Plus, I don’t really have a realistic crush on anybody (besides the occasional “oh that girl is hot”), so it’s not like there’s someone specific in my life I would eventually trust with that. and that’s kinda fine, I guess? I’m willing to accept that my life might look different than a lot of others’ looks. I just…I guess I want touch, or something? UGHHH IDK IDK WHAT’S WRONG WITH