Life feel foggy. I don't know what I'm doing. I am thinking of joining the army. If I die then that's that. If I don't then I guess the army pays well, and I heard you can retire at a young age too. Everything else feels meaningless. It's not like I'm depressed.(I think). Everyone else feels so draining. My parents have always neglected me in a way. I never let it bother me. But NOW my dads trying to change and connect. However it feels like he's too late. I couldn't care less anymore. I can't even remember any thing from the past month unless someone explicitly brings it up. I hope something just happens to me. If it means death then SO BE IT.
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