I feel like I'm slowly losing myself to the embrace of my own inflicted death. I made myself stay until I finished the most major concert in symphonic orchestra this year, until I hung out with my friends, until I got out of school, now that I finished it all and am out of school for the summer, I just.. don't want to stay. My mother still refuses to listen to me when I try talking to her, my brother is no help at all, my sister is too busy to provide me a place to escape to this time, my father is out of the picture, my friends care but it's like I'm walking on eggshells some days.. I don't want to be here. I miss my past grandma. I want to hug her again.