nothing feels real anymore, I don't enjoy things that I used to. I do enjoy playing tomodachi life though, thats cool I guess. but I stay back in my room constantly, and every once in awhile I force myself to come out and do something, and when I do my mother, or grandparents complain and ask why I never come out of my room. my father used to abuse me and my siblings when I was younger and I try to tell my mother about it but she just brushes it off talking how it happened so many years ago so what's it matter. I feel that deep down my mother doesn't care about my mental well being while her own goal is to keep me and my siblings alive. my mother already has her own stress so I wouldn't want to burden her. Im homeschooled so I have no real life acquaintances, I only have one online friend currently, but I fear our spark is dying out. I just don't want to be alone. I want care and love. Im aroace, so im not interested it romantic stuff. I mean I want my mother to console me.