i hate the way i look and how people have to perceive me everyday. i felt like this all my life but since i got a boyfriend 7 months ago, all of these thoughts started worsening. i keep asking myself how could someone love everything about me, how could he be attracted to me. this goes with friends too, how could they hang out with me without judging me or feeling disgusted by me? i feel like i’m in the wrong body, like i can’t ever feel right because of how i look and how i act. i disgust myself. these past few days i kept ignoring people, rejecting them, i don’t understand what i’m feeling. i don’t deserve them, especially my boyfriend who has gone through so much because of all the heavy things about me that i said to him. i even end up getting angry at him when he has done nothing. i feel so guilty doing all this to someone i love. i’m lucky that all my close relatives are willing to help me, but it is never enough. i hope all i’m feeling right now is just a phase as usual.