I feel like a burden to my parents. Like, I can't explain how fucked up I feel when I don't do something their way. I also feel like I don't belong anywhere, like I'm some kind of disappointment and mistake that shouldn't be here. I did this to myself, mostly, I push people away, I talk shit, I can't eat or sleep and I can't even get motivated to get up and do something. It feels like the world would be better without me in it, like the sun will shine more after my funeral. I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting? Or maybe I'm not.. I'm not sure. I wish I was like other girls, like not being insecure, having confidence in everything and being nice. It's hard to try and be something you're not just to feel human. But it doesn't help me. It makes me feel worse about myself. I only want support and a will to be alive, but I can't find it. Yes I have friends who listen to me vent, but they dont get it. I wish people understood how difficult it is to stay clean and be happy