I never had the money to truly care for myself. I don't even want the money, I don't want to go out and work for it. It's shitty and makes a lot of people envious, I'd rather just stay put and try to be "creative" at the cost of being noticed or productive- because, again, I don't have the money. Talent isn't even an issue. Social media gives the visage of invincibility, but they're still sinking into mediocrity with the market that they can't see. There probably are other ways, but I'm not one for travelling or grovelling to people. People embarrass me, generally, and I've found that most of them don't even care. Even if I were to invest more time into becoming skilled, I can't get them to care. Then there's the guilt and the trauma of being that one kid who everyone bullied; no one from high school wants to meet up with me, even. I'm still a blight on other peoples' reputation. I can make any polished man look dirtier, it's part of my whole aesthetic.