There's just so much going on and I don't know how to deal with any of it. I had plans to move to another state with my boyfriend. We had planned it while I was under 18 and I had bought the ticket. Due to the relationship with my mom I waited and then told her four days after my birthday. She went off and I felt like a bad child and decided that instead of living there I would just visit for two months but since then my relationship has been strained. Him and I got into an argument that night. He called me childish and a jerk. Due to past trauma that was very triggering for me and I had a bad reaction to it. Now everytime we text I think about what he said and think that may be he was right and I don't deserve to be in a relationship with him or anyone. I don't know what to do. The day to visit him is getting closer and closer and I just cry every night thinking about the argument and the things he had said to me.