i am miserable. ever since my brother touched me when i was little, i've done nothing but spiral into sexual depravity and got worse and worse over the course of many years, if it wasnt for those nights, i wouldn't have became so touch starved and disgusting to the point i jerk off so much its just a pass time, and what i watch seems to just be weirder and weirder just to try to get a sliver more of enjoyment. i hate everything i have become, and i wear a mask around everyone else and pretend i hate the people who are just like me now. my brain is disgusting, wrong, and helpless, the world around me has become so unimportant to me, i do nothing to better my life outside of the internet, and one day i nay lose it all because of that, one day i may be homeless and its my fault for being the way i am. but no its actually just me being lazy. if i hear that one more time i will fucking kill somebody. youll never understand the pain im in