i really want - back, all i want is him, and everyone else I've lost, and to keep who I don't want to lose, and to be loved, to not be afraid to be kissed in front of people, to be shown affection, to not be left out, to not be made fun of. I want peace, I want freedom, that's all I want mom. I feel no joy, it's not there anymore, I'm talking but it's not going to anyone's head, I'm just a piece of glass watching people and interacting but not really taking it in. I feel no ounce of happiness, or joy, I feel comfort, and tiredness, and numbness, I don't feel. I ruin everyone's mood, and deserve to be left out, yet I ask to participate because I'm worthless. I’ll be more quiet, I'll shut up, they’ll notice, and it’ll make me mad, because when I get quiet they notice, and when I cut them off they’ll say bad things about me, do it, ruin everything, do it. It will just make everything worse, then I'll get worse, I'm already worse, I'm not eating, sleeping, I'm doing random bullshit.