I made mama cry, i feel horrible, she said she gives up on trying to argue back with me and she said that what i said in the store hurt her very much. I hate myself so much and hate that im the reason behind her tears. Shes loved me nonstop and now im making her cry. Thats how i repay her. I need to get better, make her smile before i commit at least. Im so greedy and ungrateful for everything that i have and get. They helped me with everything i know and my grades are shit and they didnt even get that mad. My life is horrible but to make it worse i made mama cry. I really want someone to talk to but idk who and im scared theyll use it against me. Mama is so kind and loving, why do i treat baba better than her? I hope i can start for real and be better. For mama. I hate everything i did to make her cry and i hope she knows im still a stupid idiotic person who knows nothing about peoples feelings. But thats not an excuse. All i can do is sit in my full and messy room while i cut myself.