Rant #32854

I wish someone would tell me I'm allowed to be happy or try to be happy. - Maybe that would help but I feel so worthless that it's making me feel more depressed and unmotivated to do stuff. I just keep falling into hating myself like that fixes anything. I'm so tired of my head but this is so weird, what do I even ask anyone for irl? What do I even say? But it feels like I'm crumbling and I hate all these lousy dramatic metaphors, but I can't scream.