im so tired and im not even fully 17 yet. the pressure is too much i hate being the oldest daughter i dont like what my little sister is turning into like an attention seeker with no consideration for others i hate how my grades are dropping i hate myself so much some days that i cant find the energy to get out of bed i just wanna be warm and sleep i think something is wrong with me will i ever be good enough i want to make my parents proud i have to after all they did for me i want this bone deep chill that never leaves no matter how many layers i wear to go away im not even sure i deserve it though