I'm okay with pretending I'm fine because they are the only people who I feel truly love me anyways. I know I'm not perfect but it is exhausting to constantly respond to only criticism and concerns from my parents, even when I try to listen and be communicative. I consistently try to bond and show my appreciation, but I feel like they constantly come at me with negativity. Why do I have constantly defend myself? The rare times I gently point out a valid problem only after acknowledging all my many faults, their hurt makes them sneer and mock me. You never bother to ask whether I'm okay and I can't get mad because that would be disrespectful so the only option left is to internalize and burn myself out. I know this vent might just read as just another disappointment of what I wish could or should have been, but I'm so attached and grateful that I have them, so I have to try my best for them. It's sad and frustrating when they don't even try.