I get so fucking mad at myself whenever I think back a year ago to high school, I had such bad social anxiety that I missed out on making a ton of friends. I have autism so a lot of times I miss social cues but sometimes years later I’ll realize something and be like fuckkkkk AGHH!! I missed out on so many people who actually wanted to be my friend because I didn’t realize and now I’m crying great. I hate my thoughts they’re so mean, I wish I had a friend, I’m so upset with myself, I wish I wasn’t a quiet person, I wish I could speak more often, I hate it. I feel like I wasted my teenage years being oblivious and depressed. I want things to get better I want to learn how to make friends but i feel like it’s hopeless now, I don’t know how to socialize and covid quarantine messed up my progress I had been making. I wish I had someone to talk to who could understand. I’m starting college soon… I hope I don’t fuck that up too :-((