I should be happy with the person I have and everything he does for me, but there is no spice in my life, everything has lost its shine, nothing seems exciting. Three years in a loving, caring, happy, routine, boring relationship have worn on me. I miss going out and being a creature. I miss being strongly desired by someone I strongly desire. I miss feeling overpowering physical attraction to a sexual partner. I miss being told that my date and I make a cute couple. I miss feeling free to leave at night and make stupid decisions, beholden to nobody. We've talked about marriage. We often talk about one day getting a house together. My desire to run away and my unwillingness to hurt anybody are at complete odds with one another. I'm terrified that I will ruin my life and another's for potentially no benefit at all, but a tall figure from my past recently popped back up and my self-control is wearing thin.