Hey. It's halloween as im writing this. Around august, I had gotten out of a 5 month in patient to residential treatment. I had so many support systems then. My girlfriend, my best friend, my friend group, my parents. Life was finally starting to pick up. But as per usual I had to ruin it. I ruined everything. I got too needy, too obsessed again. My girlfriend and I broke up and I think I scared her away. Her parents hate me and not a day goes by I don't think about her. carve her name in my skin, cover my blood in our old picture. My bestfriends left me too because of what happened. I have no one. I started my first year of high school too. I like the people there, I guess, but it'll never be the same. I cut myself everyday and drink and smoke, anything I can to make this stop aside from taking the final step. My friends are all out partying and i see it online. This is the last straw. I hate her. I hate myself.