Im turning 23 and right now, all i can think about is: i should have died 11 years ago. If i hadnt been such a coward, if i just had enough courage, I would have died. And to be honest, it would have been better that way. Now i have things to live for, so i cant die now, but i wish i had died all those years ago. I hate this life. I hate my body that is constantly fucking me over in new ways. I hate my family who cant be bothered to be any type of normal. I hate my friends who almost all seem to want to sleep with me. I hate that i cant be hugged, that i recoil when people touch me. I hate my country which only seems to want to make the rich richer and doesnt care about the poor, cutting budgets everywhere, abandoning the people. I hate my mind for not functioning as it should. I hate it all.