I’ve never been afraid to die I’ve just always felt too lazy to really try I am sensitive to pain so I wouldn’t want it to be a miserable death, but I also wouldn’t want it to be peacefully slow-I’d want it to be fast, so quick that there was never a lateness or earliness to save me But I’ve always been so lazy and unmotivated to actually try and come up with some sort of plan or thing to have that outcome-if there’s anything that’d give me that And it’s not like I am suicidal but if I were to truly want to die I just couldn’t do it because I don’t care enough to. I don’t care enough to live, but I also don’t care enough to die. I feel like some sort of pet rock that has no life but stays alive somehow I don’t know maybe I’m just talking to talk, maybe I just think about this too much and needed to write it out Dunno