I don't understand why I still think about it, it was years ago and it wasn't even that bad, but it still makes me sick to my stomach and pops backup whenever. I don't understand why it makes me want to throw up even now after 3 years and seeing a therapist for months, I don't understand anything. I'm so tired I just want to let it go for good. every time I think this time it's well and truly over and every time it's just not. I'm so sick of it. I wish I wasn't triggered so easily about this. I hate it I want to throw up.