I do things in a world that doesn’t care about you one bit. Everything I do including my career or self improvement is absolutely pointless and fucking stupid in a world like this. I still do them for some reason. I don’t know why but I’ll keep going. I think I won’t kill myself but it isn’t because life is worth living. I don’t understand my own mind and body on this. I just know that even if every day I had to live through hell, I’ll still just keep living even when I am suffering. I am not happy, I feel an emotion that feels like sadness with a bit of relief. All I know is that my body and my mind cannot stop moving forward