Im so jealous of my friends and the people I graduated with. Ive been pregnant 3 times, lost the first one before I even knew and the other 3 happened literally a year apart from the other. I know I cant afford a baby, I know i said I never wanted them....but I do for some reason. I want it so bad but I know its not smart, at least not now, with the world the way it is and how expensive things are lately. I dont want to be jealous that my best friend just had her 4th, I dont want to feel those things.