i've been so unmotivated since the start or classes. The subject I was looking forward too dissapointed me far too much. I haven't been doing good. My mind is so foggy, can't retain a single fucking information to anything im reading, been so lazy, procastinating my works, using ai just to answer a simple essay, etc. I feel like i'm dissapointing my younger self because I chose this path from the get go. But now, it's sucking the life out of me. This school is suckung the life out of me. I just wanna dissapear. to go and never return. I want to feel my spark again. i want to be myself again. I wanna be happy without hiding the pain. I was so good, I promise you-- i was so good. But that faded along with everything else beacuse I geniuenly didn't feel like slipping away. I was happy until I wasn't anymore and I didn't even know when it started haha. I want a hug. But I don't think anyone would want that from me. maybe i really am the problem. i will never be enough