I just kinda came out to a close friend? I've known her since I was 9 and have known I was a lesbian since around middle school, but I've had an insanely hard time coming to terms with it. I only told her because I know that she's bisexual and probably already had suspicions about me, but I was still so nervous and my hands are still shaking. I didn't even do it formally honestly it wasnt even a real coming out. She is now one of the 5 or so people on this earth who know, and I regret it so much. I hate this shameful secret so much. I hate myself for ever thinking another girl would love me and for not trying hard enough to like the guys around me. This is such a stupid issue. There are people dying. I have a crush on another close friend (undoubtedly straight) and every time she touches me I just want to die. I live in a small-ish southern town w/ little to no socmed. I am so alone.