I heard his name again I was reminded of him i thought I was over it I should be its happened to me countless times with other people so why does his name specifically strike such fear into me he wasn't the first or last yet hes the one where i go into instant panic by simply being reminded of him I broke down i felt physically sick it took me hours to even be able to think of anything else he never did anything in person I mean he couldn't hes so far away so something online affecting me still just feels stupid I mean i was 16 when it started he was 22 I wanted to dissappear back then yet couldn't since that meant possibly loosing everyone I cared for and as a kid with basically no friends except the few online ones we shared i felt helpless and just gave him everything he wanted I know it will always be an issue for me i wish I could bring it up but every time I do everyone has dismissed it