- [ ] I literally dont want to be here, i dont know how else to describe it. I have this endless feeling of hopelessness and I dont understand why im still affected by some things i thought I healed from. I feel like im such a mean person to my family and i know they want whats best for me but i feel like I cant give them what they want. I feel like they rely on me to continue to be the one whos the first to do everything, first to graduate high school, first to go to college, just so much that i feel like i cant execute. Im so tired in every way possible and i can no longer pinpoint my emotions. I cant afford to have no will to do anything and people don’t take it seriously anyways. If i could wake up and get rid of the way I feel I would because now im back in the position to lose my finical support for school because forcing myself to go to class but not being able to actually intake information and understanding what the fuck im doing is annoying, I really see no point in me doing