Every morning I wake up, and every morning I want to close my eyes and slip away. I hate school, and I hate home. The only fun I ever get anymore is talking with my 3 real friends and being with my dog. I try to love everyone even when I feel hated. like what do I have to fucking do man... I mean cmon! I love everyone even my dad who raped me at 5, even my breatfirend who SA'ed me through 4-6th grade, even my other friend who SA'ed me in 6th. I still love them, and yet everyone treats me like trash. I even feel guilty by cutting my self. My parents yell and tell me I'm fucking selfish and I don't care about anyone other than me.. but, why cant they just once in their life give me a hug and tell me and going to get better. instead of threatening to send me away to the psychiatric hospital AGAIN. Like WHAT?! I just want to be loved. but I can't. no matter how hard I try. I always fuck things up and make people hate me. and...I don't know anymore. I'm I really that fucking fucked up????