I wish I had cancer. I know that sounds frightening and psychotic but to me it sounds cathartic. If i had cancer and it was said i had six months to live. everyone's expectations of me would be gone. the only expectation i would have is to keep living, which is a huge ask cause thats still really hard. I wouldn't have to focus on my career, i wouldn't have to worry about my life working out or having enough money or accomplishing my "dreams" (i do not have any). sometimes it feels like I am some sort of bug or glitch in a game and I was meant to die in some freak accident in my teenage years but didn't and now the whole timeline is fucked up because I'm still alive and my character arc should have ended so long ago.
the world3 felt this