Lowkey burnt out, I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. I mean, I spent so long chasing validation and I'm anxious that I might not receive high marks after the first trimester has ended. The conference is upcoming soon, and if I don't get that fucking medal, I will just :D I realized that I've tried so hard for nothing, and I don't even understand myself and why would I even do that much for affection and respect. I just want to be seen, appreciated, and loved. I can't live without the feeling of someone reassuring me that they're proud, and that I'm actually serving a purpose to at least something in this world. I don't know who I am without all of my achievements, and this year, I will genuinely just crash out HEHEHEHEH
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