I just don't understand why no matter how much I try for others they'll never give me as much effort. I always feel like everyone gets tired of me. I'm too awkward, too anxious, too weird, too tired, too depressing to be around. But I love people with all my heart. All the time. You could treat me like a rag, strangle me, use me and then throw me away, manipulate me, betray me. But I'll always come back. Because I care too much. I love too hard. I'm like a dog. No matter how much you hurt me I'll always come running back to you. And I thought I was the problem for so long but it's how I was raised that made me this way. Why I'm too careful around others. Why I flinch when you're just teasing. I could give everything to you but it'll never be enough for you. I feel like I'm stuck in an endless cycle of hurt, trusting, love, and hurt again. And I know I'm not a saint but maybe if you looked at me, really looked at me. You would know. But I know I'll never be your first choice.