I can't control my panic/anxious tics. I'm sorry for having trauma responses. I'm sorry that I can't control myself because you get upset. I'm sorry that you don't know half my stress is because of you, and that damn car crash that gave you a concussion that fucked up your brain forever. Neither of us can control ourselves. I'm sorry that I can't be better, more tame, not overreact. Why do you act so calm after telling me I can't get all depressed because you got upset? This isn't normal. I'm allowed to have emotions just as much as you. I'm sorry for having an uncontrollable response. It scares me. You scare me. I still love you. You've done so much for me. I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry life turned out this way for both of us.