my entire life i’ve been wickedly unhealthy. burgers, fries, all the usual american bullshit. january 1st I decided to make a change and only eat like 400-600 calories daily while working out. it’s may now and I’ve gone from 215 pounds down to 139, I’m not proud of myself. I should be, but I’m not because of how I did it. But the point is, I lost all that weight because I thought people would treat me better. It didn’t work, I don’t have any friends, my girlfriend secretly hates me because she knows I’m slightly disordered now when it comes to eating (she thinks I can’t tell but whenever food is mentioned she gets uncomfortable now). All I yearn for is human connection in a way that feels real. Someone who appreciates having my presence around their own, my girlfriend used to but she resents me a little now. I used to have a big group of friends I’d play video games with but they’ve all moved on from me/actively ignore me. Sometimes I think I’m the problem entirely. Fat or not, I suck.