I feel everything every where all at once. I feel the guilt for having bad grades for not being as good as I used to be for not being the golden perfect child for simply asking for respect in a place I'm supposed to feel safe. to not be severely punished when I tell them how I'm getting help for something I know is wrong. for being sad enough to cry in my room alone but not sad enough to do self harm. it makes me feel like my feelings aren't as bad as others and it hurts. it hurts that both my bio dad and step dad are horrible. my step father does not hit me but he says mean things. and my bio dad is not even in the picture. I hate how despite how sad I am I manage to smile and laugh everyday. I hate how I look around and see happy relationships while I'm eating 1 week old pizza listening to obsession sound tracks. I hate how I come off as this confident person but really and truly I'm very scared. and self aware. I'm arrogant. hate being wrong. and worst of all I cant process my emotn