What I meant was hyperbole. I just hate being criticized as a weakling when I tried so hard to adapt to some distant and imaginary requirement that no longer appeals to me and made me feel like a replica, a copy. I feel my pity expressed through violence, which could be violence in language. I don't support people who waste their lives on the state in acting out violence physically, violence artistically soothes an absurd itch I'll never be able to reach.