I wish I had a single, dependable person in my life. I wish I wasn't so fucking trusting, because it hurts just as much every time I'm let down when really, it's my fault for believing the latest promise in a thousand will finally be the one they'll keep. I wish I wasn't fucking disabled, so I didn't have to set my entire life on promises at all. Every promise is the difference between if I eat that night, if I bathe that night, if I sleep on a bed or on a couch, and every time I convince myself "They won't just let me rot" but every single person I know always does. Why does it still hurt? Why do I get my hopes up? At a certain point, it just feels like my fault.
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