after her 2 week ghosting, I finally talked to her on a group chat. ofc we didn't talk abt her behaviour, we talked about college. she's still as unbothered as ever. but with the crumbs of a normal conversation, I almost forgot how alone and unsure she made me feel. I'll never know what goes through her mind. as much as I may cherish her, I've learned to leave her alone. now, we'll both pretend we're busy (God knows we have an unorthodox amount of screentime) and go on with our lives. maybe it's the secret I told her that is pushing her away, maybe it's how I acted when I drank a little too much. all I know is I'll never chase someone ever again. if someone hints the slightest sign of abandonment, I'll be gone in an instant. I hate being the only one reaching out. maybe it's for the best. I've felt abandoned, worthless and absolutely miserable these past months, I can't pretend to love the one's that weren't there for me when it was all falling apart.