Every semester of college, I've done fine. And, yet, every new semester, I freak myself out. "This class is harder than the others. It's going to be too much. This is where it all comes crashing down, the semester where I finally fail, where I learn that all the other classes I've finished before were just too easy, or that I got lucky. I'm going to let everyone down." Every semester, these thoughts end up being incorrect, but they just come back the next. Why do I do this to myself? I should be thankful and happy that I have the privilege of affording and attending college, but I keep turning it back into this thing of dread - not that I dread the work and learning itself, but I dread screwing up. I dread getting negative feedback with each assignment I turn in. I feel guilty when I try to unwind, like I should be spending more time studying, even if I have a plan and I know I'm on track. It's been this way for so many years. I'm so exhausted of being wired this way.