I used to drink and smoke but that was over a year ago and I did it to cope with all the bullshit that goes on in my life because I am not good with explaining or talking about my feelings that well. And I have been having awful anxiety at school and home and honestly I miss it I miss the feeling of being high and not feeling like I'm caring a fucking elephant on back I miss the feeling I really do. And I honestly I don't want to go back and fuck up my insides but honestly I can't take this shit anymore like there's days where it gets so bad I start to think what it would feel like if everything just suddenly ended you and I don't want to feel like that anymore I don't know what to do with my self or what to feel. I just cant take it
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