She haunts me... im ashamed of myself because I know she absolutely destroyed me and I will never go back. Thing is I legitimately fell in love with her, or so I thought I did the more I think about it I fell in love with what we deserved to be and our potential.. what kills me more so is I have been in this dating world and I have been with some wonderful people that deserved what she got from me and yet I cannot replicate that. More over these other women yes with their own flaws deserve my love more then she ever did and yet she still has it. FUCKING WHY!?!?! I did everything for her and yet to her I wasnt good enough. Not good enough for matrimony, not good enough for being a father, just simply not good enough and yet I love her. I know I should hate her and yet here I am with yet another woman that absolutely adores me and I cant give this woman what I gave her. Fucking why? I am aware im rambling but for fucks sake I cant live like this anymore. I've written the apology letters,