i'm sick and tired of not having the right person with me. i feel stuck. nobody told me adulthood would be this bad. when i turned 18 i was so happy, and it felt like my future was bright. i didn't know it could go downhill this badly. the moment i was ending my 19s, i made the worst fucking mistake of my life. i made everyone hate me and i lost faith in myself and the world around me. i've been distant with my friends as well and i feel like a monster. i feel like i'm unloved and always will be, and i'll never be able to change anything. there's so much i want to do that is now out of reach because of my own doing. i don't know what the point is in going on anymore. i'm nothing but a monster. all i have left at this point is my pets and this dumb forum to rant to. always remember you're worth it and that there will always be someone feeling worse than you stay strong unlike me -bung