i feel like i'm dying. i turned 18 an hour ago and i just feel like nothing will ever change. i have so much life ahead of me and i still have no hope. i have friends but talking to them about how i feel, my interests, life, it all feels like talking into the void. i stare at my phone hoping someone will talk to me and i disappoint myself every time. nothing i like is important to anyone. i talk and get ignored and i just have to wonder why, because i can't be that boring, i can't be that annoying, and i can't be that useless. i matter to myself at least but i'm slowly losing that too. i don't think i'm ever going to be cared about. i can't believe it anymore when people tell me they do care and then turn around and ignore me when i'm suffering. i'm tired of reaching out, and i'm tired of listening to others and comforting them when i never get anything in return. i know it's wrong to be so selfish but i can't help it. i'm dying and nobody cares.