I gave up, just after years of stressing my body finally gave out and I cannot will myself back into being myself. I am ashamed to be who I am now. Every day that I look into my mirror I am disgusted with myself. Recently my health has taken a turn and the person I am with never came. a Year ago, I passed out in a movie theater in my chair for the first time, they tried to rouse me but after a bit gave up because it was drawing attention. When I came too they were watching the movie while I was slumped over. Recently I went to the ER and they never came. They texted, but never called., they sent taco bell on my third day home from work sense I was unable to walk but that was it. It hurts so much. They love me, I know they do but It just never occurred to them to see me. I care less, and I don't want too. I feel ugly and don't want to do anything anymore. I feel evil for feeling this way, but I cannot help it. I try and I try so hard but I cant be there enough for myself let alone other