im breaking up with my bf soon due to long distance, he said if i were to get pregnant by accident because of him he would marry me back at his hometown. i absolutely do not want children due to multitudes of reasons, so every part of me is screaming to not let that happen, but there's a tiny part of me that still loves and refuses to let him go. if i were actually pregnant and decide to keep the child my life would be in ruins, it doesn't help that he's made me the happiest ive been when we're together, and now that small part of me is trying to go against my rationality, i know its toxic on my part as it's basically just baby trapping, but it's just so hard to let go... i know i'll have to grief and accept his absence eventually, but what if there's a sliver of chance i get to continue staying with him? logically, its an easy decision, but emotionally, im still struggling to decide, i feel like an awful person rn...