It always gets worse. Was having the worst time in my life and struggling to deal with anything and then my mom ends up in the hospital. I genuinely can’t keep it together anymore. I feel so tired. I feel so stupid and useless and out of control. I feel like such a disappointment. And I just hate knowing that I’ll kill myself before I ever do anything with my life. I will die and have nothing to show for it. As much as I try to be good in my life I just have to live with the fact that none of that good will ever come back to me. I will spend my whole life making people happy just to never be happy myself. I don’t have much at all and I’m still thankful for every little thing I have because I know it could be even worse but I still feel like I have nothing and I genuinely have no one and I just don’t know how much more I can take.