I hurt people I love on accident with my emotions. I am not transparent enough. My emotions are hidden. At the worst of times -- when my infatuation was reciprocated -- I did not want to commit. Does fear simply consume me or do I consume fear??? Am I afraid of commitment? Why must I do things hiding my real intentions? Why don't I just ask questions and be transparent like a real human being? I don't want to hurt the feelings of the people I love with my own emotions. I do not want to be a burden. I wish to help and care for people -- anyone who steps within our walls. But, my emotions were unstable; infatuated. I wish to forgive myself. We somehow talked things through happily. The infatuation that I feel is still there. I probably shouldn't share that with them. (Or, at the very least, express the fact that I am still emotionally attached, sending the reminder that I cannot trust my emotions.) *Exhale* Reader, you are so loved. No matter who you are, no matter what. You are loved.