I hate my life. Its, a mess. When I was younger I used to be very social but it was still obvious to me that I had social anxiety, which is something that runs in the father side of my family. When covid came I was just starting HS, when I returned in 9th grade, I was twice as heavy as I was and it made me very self conscious, more reserved, & increased my social anxiety. The weight is gone but the anxiety remains which makes it difficult to make friends irl. I have no issue with being social online, and I met someone that made me really happy. Things didn't work out and I am more depressed than ever + I recentlty started a job that is low pay & high work volume, because there is no other opportunities in my country despite my qualifications. I feel trapped and I have lost all hope. I try not to cry or dwell on my issues, but if I don't let it out I feel like it makes my days even worse.